Comments on: A Young Voice from the Trenches

By: Hollywood XX… : kelleyeskridge.com

Hollywood XX… : kelleyeskridge.com — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:48:13 +0000

[...] an existential cry from a young woman in the film industry who wonders where are the women who will help her, and help [...]

By: suzy

suzy — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 22:21:31 +0000

I think it is necessary to break this topic down some. I work in the high tech industry and you see the same thing. It is male dominated. But now being in my forties, I can say a few clear observations, being both “young” and now going into “older.”

1. Few people are really happy about your professional success in an competitive environment. Really. You have some people are proud to have helped you and you are in their network. You have others who like to be around influence and don’t personally cheer you on, but want to be in your reflected glory. But truth is, male or female, they aren’t your buds. You have buds, but they ain’t everyone and the people truly happy and supportive of your success – cherish them and treat them well.

2. There are women who help other women. There are also men who will not help other men. I don’t know if we can say that percentage wise, there are many more women pricks as men pricks.

There are also women who are assholes. In some ways, I’d love it if there were more egoist women pricks who got away with indulgent behavior, because it would mean in a strange way, gender didn’t matter anymore. Until then, those that are assumed to be weaker get the bullying and the stealing, and for asshole women, they will pick on other women and minorities just like assholes men do. And I agree, there is a syndrome of the one “token” seat at the table at some places of business.

3. Do not assume that an older woman will give you what is hers or be your coach because of her sex. I have been asked for help, then backstabbed by the younger woman who dug her heel in my forehead trying to reach for my job instead without any feeling or support of MY success. Many of the stories on the young feminist blogs are about younger women not being helped as they expect by other women. But because older women perhaps don’t use the internet like younger women, you don’t hear about younger women screwing older women out of something. That may be attributed to cleverness, but none the less it is tragic to the older woman that trusted her.

God bless the child who has her own. I’m willing to help you on your enterprise. Don’t try to take mine and believe I’ll be indifferent about it.

By: SolShine7

SolShine7 — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:58:49 +0000

Excellent letter, thanks for sharing. I hope women in film can do more of helping build each other up instead tearing one down. I like how Meryl Streep said at the SAGs that someone should give Viola Davis a starring role. That’s the kind of cheering on we need!

By: e

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:11:27 +0000

I just came across a Charlie Rose interview with Guillermo Del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth), Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (Babel) and Alfonso Cuaron (Children of men) http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/81 and thought “Now there’s a model”. Three filmmakers who support each other from ideas to script to premiere and after, with challenge and laughter and loyalty, just amazing – a bit like I imagine Estelle’s Women’s Film Society is, but out there in the world. What would happen if women filmmakers decided to give one another a similar level of support? Does it ever happen? It’s worked so well for those guys who are a bit ‘different’ in Hollywood, like us—

By: maureen

maureen — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 08:11:09 +0000

I appreciate what the email’s author is saying. I wonder if she’s seen the film “Searching for Debra Winger”. You’ll feel some female comraderie from Patricia Arquette, the narrator.
I feel hopeful that women direcors are becoming more visible– and when I hear voices of young actresses like Ellen Page. I hope the writer hangs in there.
I love Melissa’s blog…

By: Jane

Jane — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 05:28:58 +0000

I have worked in the industry for the past ten years and seen it all. There are those who are wonderfully gracious and supportive and others who are caddy and selfish. In the end, try to just focus on what you can do to help enlighten the world with your art and your efforts will be noticed. Try not to give those whose hearts have crusted over your time and energy. They are not the only ones who can help you with your career. Keep searching for the ones with the heart of gold, male or female. They’re out there. And when you find them, hold on tight and cherish them!

By: Estelle

Estelle — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 02:25:26 +0000

I am currently a film student in L.A and I feel like the my generation is definitely willing to help each other out, and I am very grateful for it. My friend and I just started a Women’s Film Society within the film school as a way for the women in the school to connect, network, and learn from each other. It’s the first year of the organization and we already have about 25 active members. At the beginning of April we are hosting a week long focus on Women Filmmakers & Films and are really trying to bring that awareness to the film school. When working on student productions, I am usually one of no more than 3 women on set, but recently I have noticed that more women are given the opportunity by male directors to DP, AD, and Produce. More often than not, we are relegated to set dressing but end up doing most of the work. In my situation, the Women’s society has given us the opportunity to work with each other and not against each other.

By: e

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:26:09 +0000

I cried when I read this post. It’s a truth I’m very familiar with. All strength to the writer. And it made me think, again, of B Ruby Rich’s wonderful “Chick flicks” where she writes —among lots of other things— about how cinefeminism was affected by women going into academia. I believe that sisterhood is so important and hope we can find new ways to support one another in all our amazing diversity. Thank you Melissa for giving us a space to discuss these things.

By: UGLY DEAF MUSLIM PUNK GURL!

UGLY DEAF MUSLIM PUNK GURL! — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:42:35 +0000

I’m sorry and I know exactly what she’s talking about. PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP HOPE!!! Not all of us are like that. I love my fellow sisters and I’ll help out other gals in any way I could.

I think it’s all about competition, obviously. Some people don’t want to see you succeed, because they’re afraid of being left behind. Since women (and non-white people of color) are minorities, there’s always some kind of an underlying tension between us when it comes to competition.

Ugh.