An Open Letter from a Female Director

by Melissa Silverstein on June 17, 2009

in Sexism,Women Directors

Ela_Thier_April_09I received this letter from Ela Thier a woman who has been working in the business for 20 years.  It’s long but incredibly well written.

Firstly, I’d like to thank Ela for writing this and for her honesty.  The full letter will be after the break but here are some points I’d like to highlight:

After years of learning, practicing, and teaching, after hundreds of hour devoted to each script, after years of query letters, phone calls, meetings, film markets, panels, classes, LA trips, networking, more networking, even more networking, my scripts – those ones that this reader liked better than the 150 scripts she read that summer – those scripts sit on a shelf. After years of trying and falling and getting up and trying, something finally dawned on me: maybe I’m not the most unlucky bastard that ever lived. Maybe I’m female.

I have an Iranian friend living in NY who recently returned from her trip back home. She told me that it was easier to be a woman in Iran because there is no pretense there about sexism. It’s overt. It’s policy. It’s “the way things are”. What’s hard about being in the US, she said, is that women are disempowered by the myth that western women are liberated. The glass ceiling hurts every time we bash our heads against it but it’s entirely invisible. Have you ever run smack into a pane of glass?

It would be so much easier if someone would just flat out say it: “You’re not a director. You’re a girl.”

Unfortunately, there are no bad guys to blame. Men are good and caring people; my own husband is my greatest ally in the world. Women are intelligent and powerful. But all of us carry the scars of centuries of misinformation, and we all make decisions, often without awareness, that stem from a sordid history.

So now what? Given the reality in which I exist, what do I need to do to move forward? Statistically, I have twenty times less of a chance to get a film made than my male colleagues. But this doesn’t mean that my goal is impossible, it just means that I have to work twenty times harder. So I will.

June, 2009

Dear friend and ally,

On June 30th this year I’ll be turning 38. It was twenty years ago that I used to sneak out of school in order to write my first screenplay. In lieu of a literary criticism paper, I handed in a 260-page epic screenplay about the childhood and adolescence of John Lennon. He was my hero at the time because no matter what people thought about him, he knew he was good. I received an “F” on my term paper, but my English teacher took me aside during lunch and said: “I had to fail you, but I know you’ll win no matter what we do to you in school.”

When people learn that I’m a filmmaker, they often ask me some version of: “Do you want to be a star? You want to be Stephen Spielberg?” With practice, I got good at answering:

“No, I don’t work this hard to be a star. I’ve put in thousands of hours of unpaid labor because I care deeply about the artwork that I create. The stories I tell, and how I tell them, really matter to me. I think my work will make a difference to people.”

Twenty years later, I sit to write this letter, facing two shelves filled with over twenty screenplays. Modesty aside, I would need many pages to recount even a portion of the positive feedback that I’ve received over the years; the enthusiastic phone calls, the awards, the requests for meetings. A judge at the IFP Market  told me that of the 150 scripts she read that summer, mine ranked among her top three favorites; another judge resigned in protest after the jury didn’t select my script as one of their five finalists; a manager called to say that he couldn’t get my script out of his head; an agent told me that my script had her laughing out loud; a producer of hit movies implored me not to revise my script because it was perfect. When I began to direct short projects, the response was the same: “Shorts this perfect are so rare, I just want to weep” was a comment I received from a festival director.

And yet, the past years were marked with tears and heartaches. One enthusiastic response after another would lead me to hope and end with a bout of weeping on my husband’s shoulder. No matter how familiar and by now, routine, the disappointments would be, the tears would come each time. And after a good cry, or two, or several, I would get up, wipe my knees, and keep going.

I often tell other filmmakers who lose heart: when it comes to pass letters, you’re in great company, from Van Gogh to the Beatles to Stephen King to J.K. Rowlings.

But the million dollar question remains, as one of my writing students asked after reading two of my scripts: “Why are these scripts not made? What better scripts could people possibly be reading?”

After years of learning, practicing, and teaching, after hundreds of hour devoted to each script, after years of query letters, phone calls, meetings, film markets, panels, classes, LA trips, networking, more networking, even more networking, my scripts – those ones that this reader liked better than the 150 scripts she read that summer – those scripts sit on a shelf. After years of trying and falling and getting up and trying, something finally dawned on me: maybe I’m not the most unlucky bastard that ever lived. Maybe I’m female.

I have an Iranian friend living in NY who recently returned from her trip back home. She told me that it was easier to be a woman in Iran because there is no pretense there about sexism. It’s overt. It’s policy. It’s “the way things are”. What’s hard about being in the US, she said, is that women are disempowered by the myth that western women are liberated. The glass ceiling hurts every time we bash our heads against it but it’s entirely invisible. Have you ever run smack into a pane of glass?

Little hints of this invisible blockade pop up on occasion: a male student of mine with a fraction of my experience gets hired to direct a feature film; the manager who couldn’t get my script out of his head tells me that he can’t sell the script because the lead is a girl; an executive won’t read my road movie because it’s an ensemble with three female leads and, according to this executive, “women on the road has already been done.”  One producer urged me to pass my script to another director since I haven’t made a feature before; this conversation took place while her husband was line-producing a $7M movie starring Bruce Willis, directed by a first-time male director.

Overall, however, society’s message to me as a woman born in 1971 is that sexism is a thing of the past. But if I’m ever so liberated, why is it that no matter which direction I turn, I walk into a glass pane and land on my ass? The answer, I’m convinced, is not out there; it’s inside myself.

I teach screenwriting and consistently notice the different regard that I feel for my male and female students. No matter how “enlightened” I think I am, I find myself having higher expectations of the guys. I just assume that they have more experience, more confidence, more intelligence…? I’ve recently noticed that when I receive quality work from a woman, I feel a sense of surprise. When I see amateur work from a man, I think “hmm… for some reason I had him pegged as an experienced writer.” For some reason.

So if I, a woman filmmaker, the liberated one who’s not afraid to use the word “feminism” in a sentence, if I myself carry misinformation about women that has me question our competence and intelligence, what thoughts do other people carry? What “feelings”, stemming from centuries of fear and prejudice, and mistaken for intuition, dictate their decisions? What do the well-intended producers, executives, agents, managers and investors, feel when my script comes across their desk? With what concern do they thumb through my script, the one with the name “Ela” on it, the one with a female in the leading role?

If they’re anything like me, enlightened and all, they glance at the script and expect amateur work. If they get as far as reading a few pages, they’re pleasantly surprised that I can write. If they get as far as reading it entirely, if they get past the fact that the lead is female (unlikely), if they get far enough to even consider packaging or selling or producing my film as an even remote possibility – and I’m happy to say many have gotten that far – then they have to muster up the confidence that I, a first time female director, could complete a meaningful, powerful and – profitable – movie.  Beware of glass panes.

I once had a notable producer pick up my work and tell me that mine was the strongest script on their slate. The higher-up in the company, however, while working to attach “bankable names” (ie. movie stars) to their other projects, refused to package my script. “If an investor takes interest in it without us packaging it, then we’ll produce it,” they explained. We parted ways.

There is no petition to draft. There is no policy to fight. Yet, of the 250 top-grossing films  in any given year, 6% are directed by women; of the 50 top-grossing movies each year, roughly 5 star or focus on women. In 80 years of Oscar history, with roughly 250 directors receiving a nomination for best director, 3 nominations went to female directors. No woman director ever received an Oscar.

It would be so much easier if someone would just flat out say it: “You’re not a director. You’re a girl.”

Unfortunately, there are no bad guys to blame. Men are good and caring people; my own husband is my greatest ally in the world. Women are intelligent and powerful. But all of us carry the scars of centuries of misinformation, and we all make decisions, often without awareness, that stem from a sordid history.
So now what? Given the reality in which I exist, what do I need to do to move forward? Statistically, I have twenty times less of a chance to get a film made than my male colleagues. But this doesn’t mean that my goal is impossible, it just means that I have to work twenty times harder. So I will.

I know my films will get made. I know that I’m a wise investment, that my films will have wide appeal, and dare I say: wide impact. But how do I get my films to their rightful owners – to their audience?

I decided to follow in the footsteps of writer-director Deborah Kampmeier, who after years of throwing herself at glass ceilings and windows and walls, decided to quit waiting for a greenlight. She contacted every person she knew and asked them for money. Dollar by dollar she collected $35K and made the film “Virgin”. The film was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award and she went on to make her second feature for roughly $4M, starring Dakota Fanning. She is now in development on her third feature. It took her several years to find backing for her second feature; this was no easy feat. But the traction that her first feature created, coupled with her persistence, began the momentum that is now her career.

Thinking I would do the same, I sent out a plea to my email list: if I raise $100 from 1000, I explained, I can make my film. My email list consists largely of people who attended my workshops, so I offered a $150 workshop voucher in exchange for the $100 contribution (good deal, no?) I sent this notice to the 2100+ people on my email list and one week later (drum roll please…!) I received 3 contributions. One of them from my sister. I suppose that $300 is a start…?

I was due for another bout of tears, and when I was done, I got up to wipe my knees and engineer the next idea. I decided to make it personal.

That’s where you come in.

I went on to make a list of every human being I could think of that I ever had meaningful contact with. You’re receiving this letter because we know each other, because we had an impact in each others’ lives. As I compiled my list, I saw your face in my mind and thought about the experiences that I shared with you: you were my 6th grade classmate, teacher, student, employer, fellow activist, synagogue-goer, or we met on a blind internet date before I was married. You may be a producer I met at a film market, an agent I queried who sent me an encouraging word; you’re a lawyer who gave me advice and didn’t charge me, or a festival director who took the time to tell me how you feel about my work. You may be the English teacher who gave me an “F” and told me I would win. Wherever and however it is that we crossed paths, I thought about you, specifically, and felt hopeful that you would back me.

If you received this letter through a friend, or a friend of a friend, a newsletter, know that I’m thrilled to welcome you to my circle and to be part of yours. I’ll look forward to meeting you down the road.

If each person that receives this letter contributes only $100, I’ll be able to direct my first feature.

This is all I ask.

For some of you $100 is a large sum; some of you are raising children, or are struggling artists yourselves. If you don’t contribute, please know that I will assume you want to but aren’t able. If you’re in a position to contribute more than $100, you would offset folks who can’t contribute.

Either way, what you can do is forward this letter to your list and tell everyone you know that by contributing only $100, they’ll have a hand in making a meaningful and entertaining film, the catalyst to the many more rich and significant films that will follow. Post this letter in your blog? Embed the link to this letter in your facebook status? You can join me on facebook

If you’re a writer or filmmaker yourself, and you’d like to learn more about the craft, your $100 contribution will earn you a $150 voucher towards any of my workshops, valid for one year. In the fall, after I complete the production of this film, I’ll be offering weekend workshops in screenwriting, directing, and film producing.

If you’re not interested in workshops, what I can offer is to thank you with a film credit. Based on logistics and scheduling, I may also be able to invite you to visit the movie set as a background actor or a production assistant, should this interest you. If you have children, I’ll be particularly enthusiastic about having them on set. (We have several school scenes!)

Dear friend and ally, I sat down at 8am yesterday morning to write this letter. I was terrified. Even though I’m a writer, I don’t have the words to capture what this really means to me. How do I sum up my life’s work in a letter? It’s what I’ve devoted every waking (and sleeping) hour to in one form or another from the time I began this journey. I wish I could find a poetic and irresistible way of saying it, but truth be told, it’s simple: even a minimal donation will make waves. It will change my life and have a ripple effect beyond that. It will be the catalyst to intelligent and inspiring films – ones made by a woman. Please don’t assume that someone else will pick up the slack. Given the small amount that I’m asking for, it will take every person who receives this letter to respond favorably. This is one time in our relationship with each other that I ask you not to procrastinate, not to be apathetic, not to assume that you can’t make a difference, not to fall for my façade of “the successful artist” when in truth, I’m in need of help. I dare you to care. I will think of you and remember you when I see your name on the list of donors. And if I haven’t met you yet, I will want to. It is now 8am the following the morning. It took me all day to draft this letter, to write and re-write it, giving it my all to try and find the words that might reach you.

June 30th will mark twenty years from the time I wrote my first screenplay. I hope to celebrate it on July 1st by walking into my production office and beginning the work that I was born to do.

With love and appreciation,
Ela Thier

For information about the short film and to watch a clip

For information about the feature film, including a synopsis and to contribute go here

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Michelle June 17, 2009 at 7:28 AM

I made a short film this year. I sent emails out to 55 film industry people I took a month long workshop with, and 15 of my closer friends. Four friends handed me money ranging from $20 to $300, the film people, nada. I did receive 2 congratulation emails from actors looking for work.

Indiegogo.com is a site that helps filmmakers network and try to generate funds. Some people on the site are having great success, others, not so much. I do believe the site is an excellent way to try and get things done. It’s also all we have, at this point.

Elena Perez June 17, 2009 at 9:25 AM

I’m going to re-post her letter on the California NOW website today, and tweet about it as well. Thanks so much for bringing this to our attention.

We’re also sponsoring a female-directed film at the LA Film Festival next week, “35 Shots of Rum”. http://www.canow.org/canoworg/2009/06/join-ca-now-for-35-shots-of-rum.html

Jennifer Gandin Le June 17, 2009 at 2:37 PM

I’m so grateful to Ela for writing this letter, and for standing firm in her desire to make movies. I’ve reposted this on my blog with a link to her website.

My broader question for you, Melissa, and this blog’s other readers, is: how do you keep the faith while you do this work? How do you avoid short-circuiting with frustration when you behold the scope of the problem? There are some times, especially when I read something like this from a relatively successful filmmaker of 20 years, when all I want to do is give up.

Ela Thier June 17, 2009 at 8:21 PM

Dear Jennifer,
I read your posting and had to chime in.

To keep hope, I take a two-pronged approach:

1) We need to refuse to feel bad about ourselves. We can’t make progress as long as we’re vulnerable to believing the misinformation about women that we’ve stewed in all our lives. We each need to know that we are intelligent, significant, wanted, and uniquely beautiful. This may require some tears and grief, to heal from what we’ve internalized. If we really truly knew how good we are, we would be unstoppable. So for the sake of our cause: we each have to quit feeling deficient or lacking in any way what so ever.

2) We need to lovingly train men to be our allies, and know that it’s what they really want. They feel so bad about sexism that they just shut down when we take the tone of blame. If we assume their goodness, they rise to our expectations. We can’t win this battle without them joining us, and the good news is that we don’t need to.

I knew a guy whose sexism was driving me up a wall. One day I asked him: “Have you ever witnessed a woman being treated badly?” Within minutes he was talking about growing up with a single mom, and all the hardships that he watched her face. When he spoke about how hard she worked without ever getting promoted, he broke into tears. I kid you not. He was crying in my arms by the end of the conversation. Men carry so much heartache from having watched women get mistreated, and they never get to talk about it.

I have a dream of one day compiling a book in which I interview men in Hollywood about instances in which they witnessed sexism, and what advice they might give to men and women in handling those scenarios. I never ask men about their own sexism because it’s too hard for them to talk about it. They feel super guilty, shut down, go into denial mode, and we, in turn, get mad about it! if we can leave out the blame and expect men to want to assist us, they come to life.

My book will be called: Women in Hollywood and Our Allies

pnc June 18, 2009 at 9:14 AM

Thinking I would do the same, I sent out a plea to my email list: if I raise $100 from 1000, I explained, I can make my film. My email list consists largely of people who attended my workshops, so I offered a $150 workshop voucher in exchange for the $100 contribution (good deal, no?) I sent this notice to the 2100+ people on my email list and one week later (drum roll please…!) I received 3 contributions. One of them from my sister. I suppose that $300 is a start…?
____________________________

Boy do I relate. My first attempt at making a feature, this is exactly what happened. I only sent out contribution letters to people I thought cared about me and wanted to see my dreams come true. I learned soon enough that if you’re female and a filmmaker, most people won’t support your dreams.

In that same year I saw five of my male counterparts raise money in the exact same way, successfully, and went on to make their features.

I guess we’re supposed to stay home and iron shirts!

After my first attempt, I fell into a long, deep depression. I cut a lot of people out of my life. Now, I feel like I’m returning to myself, and trying to find a way toward making a feature again. I don’t know how, but reading your letter gives me hope. Good luck.

Jennifer Gandin Le June 18, 2009 at 12:27 PM

Thank you, Ela, for your graceful and confident response to my question. You reminded me of things I have known in different ways, but forgot to apply to this specific conundrum. I can’t wait to read that book of yours.

Maggie B. June 18, 2009 at 1:23 PM

Wow. Right now I’m in tears.

A few days ago in my local paper I read “an on the street type ” interview at a movie theater with a handful of movie goers. One woman apologized and said she was embarrassed that her favorite recent movie was “Mamma Mia!” and even more embarrassed to have to admit that she was going to see “My Live in Ruins”. ALL the women – and of course, all the men interviewed – named male characters when asked the question “If you could be a character from a movie who would you be?” I couldn’t believe it! This was in San Francisco!

We do not need to educate men so much as we need women to come together and support each other and ourselves.

e June 18, 2009 at 2:14 PM

Thanks Ela & Melissa for starting this conversation, & for all the other comments, sad but also wonderful to read. I’ve linked to this and hope you’ll provide updates!

Melissa Silverstein June 20, 2009 at 2:32 PM

Maggie-

Great comment. I really am with you on this one. My thought is that if women don’t support other women we are done for because guys sure as hell support each other. Let’s make a list of our favorite female characters.

Barbara Masry June 21, 2009 at 6:07 PM

Dear Ela,
Bravo for your open letter. This week-end, I had to gulp and screw up my courage when I sent a letter out to my email contacts asking them to forward my request to friends who might benefit from a tax-deduction. Friends love us, but money requests makes them uncomfortable. Still, if we’re driven to see our dream realized, we’ll keep going. Come see my play, Rewriting Her Life, at the Manhattan Repertory Theatre’s Summerfest, July 22-24th. My main character is a frustrated playwright with similar gripes. Onward and upward! Barbara Masry

Julie June 22, 2009 at 9:59 AM

This letter really hit home, because every woman director I know is having the same experience. In the 90′s, women entered the workforce en masse. They clutched their degrees and expected equal opportunity and treatment. These highly educated women, who had been told “you can do anything”, hit the glass ceiling at every turn. This resulted in class action lawsuits across corporate america and the government. Everyone from Wall Street to the CIA was sued by their female employees. Hollywood is literally the last hold out. Since they are supposedly hiring the “best person” to be the director, discrimination can’t be proved. Nevermind that the “best person” almost always happens to be male. The women in power; studio heads, agents, A-list actresses (who endlessly complain there are no good parts for them), need to support the women directors. Otherwise this apartheid will never end.

Luke Easter July 29, 2009 at 10:34 AM

Soaps, shows like Gossip Girls, Desperate Housewives,
Is this how you want to be known for living your lives?
Lying, cheating, what have you, comedic sexual harassment?
Producers, directors, actors, oh this series is heaven sent.

Yes, it’s sent alright but definitely not from the kingdom above,
Breaking His Commandments is not what God considers love,
Programs where stories center around exploited sexual journeys,
These are role models for housewives, doctors and attorneys?

Instead of demonstrating procedure for legal advice or dispensing meds,
They’re overly consumed with who’s sleeping with whom & in what bed?
What language, remember thinking only in the streets profanity is said?
The casual use of mind altering drugs and alcohol that buzz your head.

Women were not created for swollen lips & black eyes,
Neither was their purpose to be lower class or despised,
She’s supposedly man’s companion not his punching bag,
Girls are treated by boys the way mom is treated by dad.

And it is not always what goes on from home that we see,
Even more so what’s seen in moves and programs on TV,
Understand, action will always speak louder than words,
Now add to the process negative dialogue that is heard.

Producers, directors, writers it’s time to lose filth and dirt,
Create quality films and series with less sex, pain and hurt,
Whatever happened to the good guys win, bad guys loose?
Shown and promoted in entertainment is what you choose.

Abuse in every country is running rampant to an all time high,
Feature films, television, music videos is the main reason why,
Certainly not all but most of what’s viewed is played out in life,
Many in the audience are unable to distinguish fantasy from life.

The entertainment industry needs to be shepherds to God’s sheep,
Smoking, drinking, drugs, promiscuity are the Goliath’s of defeat,
Biggest problems arise leaving common sense out of the equation,
Because too many people allow fiction to govern their imagination.

What about feature length films when going to the big screen?
If you’re old enough to read this you know exactly what I mean,
How about the ratings? PG 13, R, M for mature audience or X,
Without violence and nudity, it’s something studios hurriedly reject.

Like music with lyrics preaching murder, racism, plus hate,
Making light of violent crimes like robbery, assault and rape,
Television should help positively direct, educate, mold, shape,
Whether they are children, adults, born fifty years early or late.

As Christians we have to be particular about what we watch,
Why is the bad guy glamorized instead of the good ones or cops?
If a professional, could your license be suspended or revoked?
Using insensitive language, gestures, telling an inappropriate joke?

Nothing is funny and laughable for the minority on the other end,
When coming from someone looked up to as a mentor or friend,
The president of a company, your supervisor, the so-called boss,
An insensitive statement & years of progressive cultivation is lost.

Too often people place an importance only on what visuals they see,
Instead of the word of God from the bible by not taking time to read,
All of these things are choices and they are yours alone to make,
Why choose the wrong one when you already know it’s a mistake?

Scenario, there’s a knock at the door, you answer, it’s Jesus Christ,
“Hi, I shed blood, pain, humiliation, died for you, lets watch TV tonight,”
Do you run quickly to change the channel before the Lord takes a seat?
Or lay back in your second favorite chair, relax and kick up your feet?

Michelle Meking October 18, 2009 at 9:29 PM

I’m not sure what the last post was about but thank you for sharing your experience with us Ela! I actually took a class with Ela Thier and stumbled upon this blog. I am definitely going to sign up for her new directing and producing classes. Thanks for the great information and sharing your experience :) I love the site by the way… if you haven’t checked it out before please do so!!!

http://www.theindependentfilmschool.com

Ian Eaves August 18, 2011 at 2:24 AM

Hi there, I found your blog via Google while looking for a related topic, your website came up, it looks great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

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