Nora and Delia Ephron
This week I spent some time in the world of the sisters Ephron — Nora and Delia. First, I saw their show – Love, Loss and What I Wore (which is breaking box office records at the West Side Theatre and it has been extended into 2010), and then I saw them at the More Magazine Reinvention Convention.
The sisters could be a stand-up comedy act. Nora reminds me of a female Woody Allen (from the period when he was actually making funny, interesting cultural commentaries.) They like to talk about purses and how they are a reflection of the carrier and the color black which Nora is particular is quite fond of. As she said: I am not a fashion person and I have been saved from a lifetime of clothing mistakes by black.”
They also talked about how good Nora’s lunches are (she is criminally skinny) and how clothes can help you reinvent yourself.
The show which was packed to the gills with menopausal and post-menopausal women (I wondered why the theatre was so cold) stars a group of rotating actresses (I saw Tyne Daly, Rosie O’Donnell, Samantha Bee, Katie Finneran and Natasha Lyonne) reading monologues about how clothes define different periods in your life.
Everyone is calling it the Vagina Monologues without the vaginas. I think that is missing the point. It’s all about vaginas — it’s just that they are not being raped and mutilated.
I laughed at a lot of the monologues which the sisters Ephron wrote based on the book by Ilene Beckerman and enjoyed myself but afterwards what has lingered with me is the point – why do women care so much about clothes? Why are clothes and shoes and bags things that define so much of our female experiences? We all buy into it. Me included. I can’t tell you how many horrible clothing disasters I have had. Guys don’t think about clothes like we do, yet we are culturally conditioned to constantly think about how we look which, you know, takes up so much energy that we could be expending on many other things.
One of the quotes that has stuck with me comes directly from Delia Ephron is “I could wear heels or think, I choose think.” I feel the same way. One of the other things I felt was missing from the show which is probably because of the age of the women (I also need to add the the play is directed by a woman Karen Carpenter, and produced by a woman, Daryl Roth) was anything about how certain clothes like sports uniforms can be empowering. Since the show is all about sharing clothes stories, here’s mine:
I grew up on Long Island is a crazy soccer town where girls just like boys played on teams in the 70s and 80s before it had infiltrated the nation like it has now. We played all the time. There were intramural teams that accepted everyone, and travel teams that you had to try out for. The intramural uniforms were double sides — one side maroon and one side gold — and they were hideous and heavy. I even hated the shorts and the socks. I wanted to make the travel team not only because it meant I was better player than others, but most especially because the uniform. The uniform became a symbol of excellence and empowerment. I loved the socks, the shorts and the hideous polyester shirt that was both gold and maroon with the MSC (Massapequa Soccer Club) in the corner. It took me years to make that travel team, but when I did, and put on that uniform that I coveted, I felt so good and strong that I knew I could kick anyone’s ass on the field.
I haven’t thought about that uniform for a long, long time. So I want to thank the Ephron sisters for bringing that memory back.
Do you have an empowering story about some piece of clothing?
Clothes are DEFINITELY important, because they are our only armor. In a culture that cares so much more about what we look like than who we are or what we say, a misstep fashion-wise would result in us, and everything we think or do, being instantaneously written off. You wanted that promotion? Sorry, honey, your frumpy outfit made you look like you can’t even take care of yourself. You didn’t want that creepy man to hit on you? Sorry, honey, your shirt was too low-cut. You wanted to talk to someone at that rock concert? Sorry, honey, you looked too J. Crew. We all know this, and we know that we’re all totally trapped in it, so it’s no surprise so many of us are dumbstruck when we stare into our closets!
I live in Italy now and here the men care about their clothes. Seriously.
I agree with Kate.
I loved your soccer uniform story.
For me moving here has been a real wake up call. I feel I need to step up my wardrobe.
In L.A. I used to go to the supermarket wearing gym clothes. Here I only wear sweats if I’m running. I don’t leave the house looking crazy.
The clothes are cut slimmer here so no more hiding. It’s liberating and a little scary.
i love all the comments i read on this subject of this show
I am hoping to see it soon, as i am a fan of tyne daly
I met her at a newyears eve party afew years ago, and i liked
her instantly. she is very down to earth, so i am looking forward
to seeing her in the show. i hate to be defined thru my clothes
now that i am an older woman, it doesn t affect me so much.
i dress as i please, always to be pleasently casual. that is my
goal, carol hollenbeck