“Go for it!”…”Reach for the stars!” These are the messages many of us are told. They sound wonderful until we’re faced with an overwhelming situation that makes us question “Who are you to do that?”
It was the latter voice I heard when it came to finding a producer for my feature-length documentary Seeking Happily Ever After, about why there are more single 30-something women in the U.S. than ever, and whether women are redefining “happily ever after.” It was audacious that I was even making a film. I’d never attended film school. Hell, I’d never shot a home movie. But I knew it was a story that needed to be told, and I felt strongly I was the one to do it. It would have made more sense to write it as an article, given my 20-years of journalism experience. But I felt you had to see women grappling with complicated topics like the pressure to get married, how reproductive technology changes dating, and whether courtship is kaput. It had to be a film.
Knowing I could only go so far without any film education, I searched for a producer with experience under her belt. But who would take a chance on me? I had no reel; I didn’t even know what a reel was. I emailed women producers who hadn’t gotten much attention but managed to at least complete a film, and asked if they’d be interested in producing my film. “NO,” they replied over and over. “I am never fundraising again for a film unless it’s my own project.” (Believe me, I now see their point.) They wished me luck and by the 8th rejection, I felt defeated.
And then it hit me: if I was going to be rejected, why not approach the producer I most wanted to work with? I was getting shot down by people whose work I didn’t even know. I might as well get shot down by the top. I decided my ideal choice was Kerry David. I’d just seen her film “My Date with Drew,” and was charmed by the spunk and resourcefulness she showed in her “bonus features” interview on the DVD. Plus, she’d turned that little doc into a festival darling. Who better?
So I emailed Kerry with my idea, what I’d done so far with the doc, and why I picked her. I listed every life accomplishment I could think of. At the very least, my resume made it clear I could tell stories and meet deadlines. I signed my name, read it over, took a deep breath and hit send. I figured I’d have to wait a few weeks if I heard back at all. One hour later came an email from Kerry saying she was interested; we should talk. I nearly peed myself. It was not a NO. In fact, within one week, it became a yes. She signed on as my producer.
It’s been three years since I wrote that email, and our film premieres on April 25th at the California Independent Film Festival. Recently Kerry admitted that she received hundreds and hundreds of emails from directors asking her to produce a project, and she still can’t tell me exactly why she took a chance on me. She did like my determination and the fact that I was a hard-worker; plus as a single woman the project spoke to her. Mostly she had a “hunch.” Of the many lessons I learned on this project, the biggest is to always go for broke. You can survive the rejection if it doesn’t work out–and you might just end up with exactly what you want.
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