Daresha Kyi is an Emmy Award-winning director who also writes and produces film and television in Spanish and English. She made her feature doc directorial debut with “Chavela,” a portrait of singer Chavela Vargas she co-helmed with Catherine Gund. Kyi most recently directed a short documentary for Time Studios and the SpringHill Company called “Georgia Going Blue” about the Georgia-based grassroots organizations working to fight voter suppression in Georgia and throughout the country.

“Mama Bears” is screening at the 2022 SXSW Film Festival, which is taking place March 11-20. Find more information on the fest’s website.

W&H: Describe the film for us in your own words.

DK: “Mama Bears” is an intimate, thought-provoking exploration of the journeys taken by Sara Cunningham and Kimberly Shappley, two “mama bears”— conservative, Christian mothers whose profound love for their LGBTQ+ children has turned them into fierce advocates for the entire queer community — and Tammi Terrell Morris, a young African American lesbian whose struggle for self-acceptance perfectly exemplifies why the mama bears are so vitally important.

“Mama Bears” is the story of women who have allowed nearly every aspect of their lives to be completely reshaped by love. 

W&H: What drew you to this story?

DK: When I came across an article about how Kimberly Shappley had transitioned from a Texas-based Tea Party Republican into an award-winning LGBTQ activist because of her love for her transgender daughter, Kai, I was intrigued. But when she mentioned that she’d found the courage to change by joining more than 2,000 mama bears on the same journey, I knew instinctively that these had to be some brave, badass women and I wanted to tell their story. 

But it wasn’t until I shared the idea with my friend, Scotch Ellis Loring, who unexpectedly burst into tears at the mention of the mama bears and then shared his own painful journey with his mom, a Jehovah’s Witness who’d felt compelled to shun him for years after he came out, that I realized what a powerful impact simply knowing about these women could have on the LGBTQ community, especially those from conservative, religious families. His reaction told me I was on to something important — so important that he promptly offered to cover the expenses for us to shoot and edit a sample and thus became our first executive producer.

W&H: What do you want people to think about after they watch the film?

DK: I especially hope members of the LGBTQ+ community from conservative religious families who may have experienced the pain of familial rejection find it cathartic and healing. I want them to know that deeply religious people who love and accept them are fighting to make the world a more loving, safer place for them. 

From its inception, I’ve envisioned “Mama Bears” as a powerful tool for bridging divides. For religious families struggling to accept their LGBTQ+ children, I want the film to serve as a guide on how to “choose children over church.” That’s why Tenita’s story is so important. Although it’s uncomfortable, she stands in the gap and loves her daughter, Tammi, no matter what. Even though she dropped out of the film, it was vitally important to Tenita to share the message that you don’t have to become an activist or ally or even agree with your child to love them. 

I also want churches that are struggling with the issue of inclusion to use the film to jumpstart safe, candid conversations around the subject. 

Of course, I hope everybody else likes it too! 

W&H: What was the biggest challenge in making the film?

DK: The most challenging aspect of making an independent documentary if you don’t have generational wealth or deep pockets of your own creation is raising the money. Fundraising through grants is a long, tedious process — but aside from private donations and crowdfunding, it’s been the source of all my funding thus far. It took five years to finish “Mama Bears” but if we’d had the funds upfront it probably would have taken two or three years at the most. 

For example, my film “Chavela” only took two-and-a-half years from start to finish because my co-director could carry the film financially whenever necessary, while we had to shut down production on “Mama Bears” for months at a time due to lack of funding. It was very stop, start, stop. This type of filmmaking requires so much tenacity and is often quite discouraging — but it’s also very, very rewarding when you make it to the finish line!

W&H: How did you get your film funded? 

DK: We mostly financed “Mama Bears” through grants, a crowdfunding campaign, and individual donations. One thing I’ll say about the grant process is don’t be surprised if you get zero grants from your first application. It took two years before we finally started to see results and even though that was hard, every time we got a rejection we asked for feedback on our proposal even if they said they didn’t offer it. If you’re insistent and make a good case, sometimes they’ll dig a little and respond with specific notes. I can’t tell you how helpful that information is. 

As a result, we revised our proposal almost every time we submitted it to a new funder, or to a funder for the second time. We would have tweaked it anyway because we try to tailor it to the stated goals of the funder but knowing what we needed to correct was invaluable. I know it’s a pain, but I think this is a courtesy all funders should offer filmmakers. It can be incredibly frustrating to spend all the time and energy it takes to put together a solid proposal only to be rejected and never know why! 

We were also blessed to receive a co-production deal from ITVS which gave us enough money to finish the film. I think we applied to them at least twice before they chose our project.

W&H: What inspired you to become a filmmaker?

DK: Ever since I was a little girl I‘ve loved telling stories. Although I was a good student, I was always in trouble with teachers for running my mouth, spinning yarns for my classmates. Originally, I planned to put that skill to use through acting and I spent my youth performing in community theater, school plays, and studying the craft. However, between my freshman and sophomore years at Sarah Lawrence College, I worked for Billy Sarokin, a documentary filmmaker who was making a film about the housing crisis in the Bronx. 

Billy allowed me to bring my entire skillset to bear on his project, so I was not only his PA, but his assistant camera, assistant sound, researcher, you-name-it girl. Before I met him, I’d never seriously considered filmmaking a viable career but afterwards I dropped out of SLC and dedicated myself to learning everything I could. I studied filmmaking from every angle, including fundraising and proposal writing. After a few years of working with folks like Ayoka Chenzira, Christine Choy, and William Greaves, I came up with a game plan — I would direct and star in my own movies! 

From working as the grants administrator at a long-defunct organization called The Film Fund, I knew I had to have a sample film to raise money to make a film so I decided to go back to school and “feed two birds with one scone.” I finished my degree at NYU where I made “The Thinnest Line,” a short narrative I used to raise the funding to write, produce, direct and star in a second short drama called “Land Where My Fathers Died.” Because of that film, I received a fellowship to attend AFI and was on my way!

W&H: What’s the best and worst advice you’ve received?

DK: The best advice I’ve ever received was “Don’t take no for an answer. Find another way.” 

I never remember the bad advice because what’s the point?

W&H: What advice do you have for other women directors?

DK: To all my sisters in cinema, I’d like to say that your stories are important and needed, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Also, if you’re fundraising through grants, it’s helpful if you look at every new question on an application as an opportunity to learn more about your subject and your film. Otherwise, you’ll lose your mind. 

And don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. You’re probably surrounded by people who would love to help you, but they can’t read your mind and shouldn’t have to. Just ask, ‘cause you never know!

W&H: Name your favorite woman-directed film and why.

DK: Debra Granik’s “Winter’s Bone” is one of my all-time favorite films. I was knocked out by the masterful, deft touch she used to portray such heavy, heavy material. Also the performance she elicited from Jennifer Lawrence is visceral. It’s an impeccable tour de force.

W&H: How are you adjusting to life during the COVID-19 pandemic? Are you keeping creative, and if so, how? 

DK: Actually, I worked harder during the pandemic than ever before. I spent the last six months of 2020 traveling to eight states with Cliff Albright and LaTosha Brown, the co-founders of the Black Voters Matter Fund, as they toured the country educating, empowering, and uplifting African American communities and registering them to vote. My new feature doc, “Black Voters Matter,” will share the paths they took from acolyte activists to powerhouse civil rights leaders who played a pivotal role in flipping Georgia from red to blue — in the 2020 Presidential election and the 2021 Georgia Senate Runoffs. 

Although we wrapped principal photography in January 2020 we are currently at full stop. Remember what I said about fundraising being the hardest part of indie filmmaking? Well, when we first started filming, right after Rep. John Lewis passed away, folks were ready to do anything to get rid of Donald Trump and threw money at the project, but once Joe Biden, Raphael Warnock, and Jon Ossoff were in office, people lost interest and we lost momentum. Though how anyone could think democracy isn’t still under full frontal assault is beyond me. So anyone out there reading this who wants to help — come through!

Anyway, it may sound crazy that we were out there “in them streets” at the height of the pandemic, but Cliff, LaTosha, and their partners created Covid safe events like driving car caravans through Black neighborhoods while blasting James Brown’s “Say it Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud,” and stopping along the way to hand out free food, information, and PPE. They held concerts and events at drive-in theaters so people could stay in their cars yet still have fun outdoors and they had folks scan QR codes to register.

Part of their genius is an incredible ability to pivot on a dime in response to a situation and come up with a new strategy — a different, but equally brilliant plan of attack. Even when they’re under attack. And believe me, they were attacked repeatedly, from a fire set at their Airbnb to a suspicious package from Russia left on the doorstep, but they came back harder and smarter than ever — and we filmed it all. I can’t wait to introduce people who don’t already know them to these smart, funny, down-to-earth people driven by love to devote themselves to making the world a more just, fair place for us all. 

Also, our crews took every precaution possible. We had a Covid safety officer with us who ensured that we followed all the constantly shifting guidelines from the CDC and I’m proud to say that not a single member of our crew got sick in six months of filming!

W&H: The film industry has a long history of underrepresenting people of color onscreen and behind the scenes and reinforcing — and creating — negative stereotypes. What actions do you think need to be taken to make it more inclusive? 

DK: What needs to happen to make both Hollywood and society in general more inclusive is simple — women, queer folks, people of color, and members of other underrepresented communities who work in the industry have to keep kicking down doors, blasting through barriers, and bringing the rest of us with them, and people in positions of power, especially white men, need to release their fear of sharing it and make room at the table for the rest of us.

So many of our social ills come from “lack mentality” which believes there’s only room for a few but that’s a lie. There’s more than enough for everyone if we share it. So here’s the real question — white men in power, would you please stop being greedy and learn to share?