Finger painting, DIY time, ménage à moi: these are a just handful of euphemisms for — you guessed it — female masturbation. As fun as some of these are to say, why must we refer to a natural, healthy activity so obliquely in polite conversation? Is our sexuality still — impolite?
How is it that same male gaze that has and continues to fetishize, distort, control, and profit off of women’s bodies still fails to see the common humanity in our sexual exploration and expression? For too long, mainstream film, TV, and music have emphasized that a man’s sexual appetite can be indulged guiltlessly, but moral panic erupts when a woman acts upon the same desires. Her sexual appetite must be curbed, unless it is in service of a male partner, under the auspices of “traditional,” heteronormative values.
More and more audiences and creatives alike have become disaffected with the media’s reductive portrayals of sex, as well as its complicity in perpetuating myths about human sexuality and gender expression. As citizens of the information age, we don’t really have a choice to opt out of this multimedia clamor, but we can choose to consume art that is more faithful to our lived experiences. This month we are highlighting a VOD title and podcasts that help women reclaim their bodily and sexual autonomy, all valuable resources that help us recalibrate our approach to sex and elevate pleasure to a ritual of self-love.
As International Masturbation Month comes to an end, give Iyabo Boyd’s hilarious short film “Me Time” a watch. The feminist comedy features Adenike Thomas as Deborah, a woman who undergoes an inner — or outer — conflict before she masturbates after a grueling workday.
If you struggle to think of a sex scene that accurately captures what sex is like in real life, you’re in the good company of Meg McCarthy of “CherryPop.” The podcast covers misrepresentations of intimacy on screen and how it has impacted the sexual growth of its women and non-binary audiences in the past few decades.
On the more technical side, registered nurse Cindy Scharkey’s “Permission for Pleasure” explains, in laypersons terms, the seemingly daunting mechanisms of female pleasure while also promoting a regimen of gratitude towards sensuality.
Here are Women and Hollywood’s VOD and podcast selections.
VOD
“Me Time” (Short) – Written and Directed by Iyabo Boyd
Iyabo Boyd’s delightful short really puts the self in self pleasure. Adenike Thomas stars as Deborah, a young working woman who wants to unwind after a long day at work. She presents herself with three options: watch “Gilmore Girls” over a bowl of cereal, dress herself up to go to the bar, or light some incense for a night of solo playtime. In a captivating one woman show, Thomas brings to life not only Deborah, but also the three manifestations of Deborah’s inner psyche. Scaredy Deb, Sexy Deb, and Soulful Deb all engage in a tug-of-war, each vigorously persuading Deborah to do as they each please — until all three finally agree that Deborah should please herself.
“Authentic portrayals of women’s sexuality is rarely seen on screen, especially for women of color,” Boyd reflects in her director’s statement. “Me Time” shows how complex and fickle a woman’s attitudes towards her own sexuality can be. What the audience sees is an inner monologue made tangible, the Debs embodying different facets of the self, wrestling against one another to reach a unanimous decision. More importantly, however, “Me Time” tells a story of assertive self-healing, where we witness the loving way Deborah talks to herself and how she reconciles all parts of her self with harmony and self-respect. “Working through past trauma, and fondly rehashing their more promiscuous years, the Debs work together to break through their personal limitations around self-care and sex,” the project’s synopsis describes.
Boyd hopes that “Me Time” — which has earned her nine awards on the film festival circuit — helps viewers relax and laugh and banish the specter of guilt that often encumbers autoeroticism for women. By telling Deborah’s story, she wants audience members to embrace sex positivity for themselves and experiment more, in all areas of life. “We are funny, soulful, sexy, and vulnerable all at once. We’re our own biggest accusers, enablers, and champions all at once,” Boyd says.
Watch “Me Time” on Vimeo and YouTube.
Podcasts
“CherryPop” – Created by CherryPick
“CherryPop”
“Young female sexuality is something that everybody tiptoes around,” podcast host and producer Meg McCarthy tells Selig Film News in an interview. “It sets up young women for confusion, shame, and negative thinking when it comes to their sexuality.” This embarrassment around women’s sexuality is exactly what the “CherryPop” program hopes to eliminate through corrective education and unabashed dialogue about female pleasure.
Now in its second season, “CherryPop” interrogates myths around sexuality, intimacy, and beauty as well as the portrayal of sex on the big screen. A screenwriter, producer, and actor by trade, McCarthy offers a firsthand insight of the manufacturing of pleasure for film and TV. Recalling the times she rewatched the car scene in “Titanic” as a teenager, McCarthy argues that film and TV is, for most children growing up in American, the first sex ed teacher.
“CherryPop” calls into question Hollywood’s pervasive influence on the sexual awakening of its young, impressionable viewers, generation after generation. In the first season, culture writer and film critic Beandrea July joins McCarthy to examine the legacy of Hollywood’s definition of intimacy by close-reading sex scenes from iconic films from the last two decades.
The podcast comes from CherryPicks, a media website that amplifies the voices of female-identifying and non-binary critics in arts and entertainment. McCarthy is joined by a range of cohosts and special guests who offer their expertise on sexuality and the practice of unlearning myths about sex as an adult, many of which are hilarious in hindsight. She chats with industry experts including filmmakers, actors, and intimacy coordinators. Notable interviewees include Natalia Dyer, Sasheer Zamata, Bel Powley, and most recently, Amandla Stenberg.
Learn more about and listen to “CherryPop” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
“Permission for Pleasure” – Created by Cindy Scharkey
“Permission for Pleasure”
Cindy Scharkey’s “Permission for Pleasure” is sex ed class for adults. Unlike the clinical, one-size-fits-all lessons of our school days, Scharkey’s podcast demystifies the female body and sexual desire through renewed definitions of things we thought we already knew. How exactly does the clitoris work? How can desire take different forms? Throughout her 30 years as a healthcare professional and educator, Scharkey has seen firsthand the danger of stigma and misinformation around women’s sexuality, and aims to dismantle harmful myths one by one on her program.
With “Permission for Pleasure,” she empowers listeners with the knowledge and confidence they need to start an open, empathetic dialogue about sex — not just with their partners, but with their families. Scharkey is more than your average agony aunt: along with other women’s health professionals, she offers practical advice about topics including communicating with a sexual partner, dealing with painful intercourse, and for parents, starting healthy conversations about sex and puberty with their children. Most crucially, “Permission for Pleasure” provides listeners with the vocabulary they need to better understand their own bodies and celebrate sexuality.
Scharkey’s ethos of pleasure transcends carnal desires alone, encouraging listeners to seek out and give thanks to the minutia of daily life that bring happiness. She concludes every discussion with a “Pleasure Practice,” where she encourages listeners to notice and write down the small tokens of joy in their lives. “When you allow yourself to experience and enjoy what delights you,” Scharkey says at the end of each episode, “it is a good first step towards giving yourself permission for pleasure.”
Learn more about and listen to “Permission for Pleasure” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.
