Josephine Decker is an actor, writer, and director best known for “Collective Unconscious” and “Thou Wast Mild and Lovely.” In 2008, Decker co-directed a documentary on bisexuality called “Bi the Way.” She has also written and directed numerous short films.

“Flames” will premiere at the 2017 Tribeca Film Festival on April 20. The film is co-directed by Zefrey Throwell.

W&H: Describe the film for us in your own words.

JD: “Flames” is a real romance filmed over five years. Basically, my ex-boyfriend — artist Zefrey Throwell — and I started making a film while we were in love. Then we broke up. And Zefrey for some reason insisted we keep making the movie, which actually makes it excitingly different from every other on-screen love story: it’s also an on-screen hate story.

W&H: What drew you to this story?

JD: Zefrey and I dated for almost a year from 2011–2012, and the horrors and revelations of being in love with a performance artist who likes to bite (literally) led to us working out a lot of our personal problems through art.

We made a short after a condom broke early in our relationship — and worked through some of the questions of kids and family that came up too soon that way. That was very healing, so we ended up, well, filming through a lot of the next questions that arose for us. Eventually, filming became its own problem.

W&H: What do you want people to think about when they are leaving the theater?

JD: I hope people find joy in seeing such a real story play out with so much intimacy in front of them. We all feel like we fail when our relationships don’t work out, and we may carry the questions about them into our next relationships and far beyond. I hope people feel some salve in knowing that everybody is equally confused when true love turns into a true nightmare!

W&H: What was the biggest challenge in making the film?

JD: Working with my ex-boyfriend! I was ready to hate him forever and never see him again — and he wanted to finish the movie. I wanted to finish us!

W&H: How did you get your film funded? Share some insights into how you got the film made.

JD: We made a small amount of money from selling our short film as an art piece — and this made it seem possible to keep funding our film from our art. Of course, eventually, we just dipped into savings and beyond, and threw a lot of personal time on the project for free. I think Zefrey put in about six months straight of editing work — for zero money. Basically: self-immolation?

W&H: What does it mean for you to have your film play at Tribeca?

JD: It’s incredible to have the force and love of a huge festival like Tribeca on the side of this film and its team! I lived in New York for most of the last thirteen years, so getting to share the film with my hometown as its world premiere is beyond special. I’ve been going to Tribeca Film Festival for about 19 years, so to be included in the lineup is so cool.

W&H: What’s the best and worst advice you’ve received?

JD: Best advice: Make your film yours. Don’t make anyone else’s film.

Worst advice: Well, it’s often the advice I’ll give myself. Other people give me great advice. I tend to give myself the bad stuff. Things like: “It will get better! Just wait! Don’t fire anyone yet!”

Avoiding conflict while making a film is like withholding love from a baby. Someone just needs to cry and get fed. I’ve learned that being very clear about my own expectations is super important for other people to be able to work with me — so, I think not being communicative for one reason or another is the bad advice I give myself.

W&H: What advice do you have for other female directors?

JD: Communicate, communicate. Make your film whatever way you can, on any budget possible!. Be very clear about what film you want to make and make sure everyone is on the same page about that!

W&H: Name your favorite woman-directed film and why.

JD: Honestly, Sophia Takal’s “Always Shine” blew my mind in a way very few films have. I loved how simply it wove its way deeper and deeper into a story that always opened and never closed. How cool that it premiered at Tribeca!

W&H: There have been significant conversations over the last couple of years about increasing the amount of opportunities for women directors yet the numbers have not increased. Are you optimistic about the possibilities for change? Share any thoughts you might have.

JD: Opportunities for female filmmakers are not just about starting lab programs or incubating more female-directed work. Women need to be heading studios to be able to say yes to projects they get that a male studio head might not. Production companies need to greenlight exciting, risk-taking indie projects made by women.

Women filmmakers need to work with teams that support their leadership. Female writers need better access to resources for development. Our country needs to support artists of all kinds in all stages of their careers. Thankfully, this recent attention towards female filmmakers brings up needed conversation about more systemic, societal problems facing women who work.

We need opportunities that recognize our unique role as mothers, partners, and artists whose trajectories are unique. As women receive more support from their families, partners, work, and funders, they will be better piqued to tell their stories and thus, change the fucking world!