Thanks to Imposter Syndrome, the societal expectation that they be humble and polite, and the patriarchy’s general dismissal of their accomplishments, women can find it hard, even distasteful, to boast about themselves. And when women do have the self-confidence to sing their own praises — as “Grey’s Anatomy” star Ellen Pompeo did when she insisted on being paid what she deserves — they often are slammed as arrogant or shrill. Shonda Rhimes wants to change that narrative. Accepting the Luminary Award at ELLE’s Women in Hollywood event last night, the TV mogul bragged about herself — and urged other women to brag about themselves, too.
As the creator of “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Scandal” puts it, “men brag and women hide.” “Even when they don’t deserve to brag, men brag, like Trump and Kavanaugh.” She went on, “When men do deserve to brag they are good at it. They do it so well. Men brag about everything. Even things that aren’t things.”
Meanwhile, women who pat themselves on the back are vilified. “Ellen [Pompeo] told the world she was the highest paid woman in dramatic television. She did not hide. She bragged. She said she was powerful and she said she deserved it,” Rhimes remembered. “And there was some blowback. And there should not have been. I have seen a thousand articles like that from men, but she’s a woman and she shouldn’t say things like that. She should hide.”
Rhimes herself hid when she made her deal with Netflix. “I let them report my salary wrong in the press and I did as few interviews as possible. Then I put my head down and worked,” she revealed. “In other words, I hid. I’m getting this award for inspiring other women and how can I inspire anyone if I’m hiding?”
So, she’s decided to celebrate being “awesome.” “Let me take a deep breath,” Rhimes said. “I will brag. I got to say this is harder than I thought. I am the highest paid showrunner in television,” she announced.
Not only is it good for women to recognize their own accomplishments, it’s vital they boast so that other women also feel comfortable beeping their own horn. “The point is that we need to set an example,” Rhimes declared. “I am and we are awesome. Which is another way of saying we have power and we are powerful women. And when we say we have power we are really saying we deserve to have power,” she added. “We deserve whatever good thing it is we are getting. Demanding what you deserve can feel like a radical act. We live in a world in which only men are allowed to scream, cry, and demand and do this in places like senate hearings,” she said in a shout-out to the alleged sexual abuser who was recently confirmed to the Supreme Court.
“Women who scream or cry or demand or deserve are not sympathetic. Women who do that are deemed difficult and they are called crazy. They are labeled the bitches who need to go,” Rhimes observed. “We need to support the incredible, powerful women around us. We need to encourage that power. We need to delight in it. We need to make sure the power of other women is enjoyed and celebrated,” she said. “We need to all agree to be difficult, crazy bitches who need to go.”
Rhimes currently has eight projects in development at Netflix, including a series based on Jessica Pressler’s New York Magazine feature about con artist/phony socialite Anna Delvey. “Scandal” ended its seven-season run in April. “Grey’s Anatomy’s” is currently in its 15th season. Rhimes also produces ABC series “Station 19,” a firefighter-centered spinoff of “Grey’s,” and Viola Davis-starrer “How to Get Away with Murder.” All three series air Thursday nights.
Active in the Time’s Up movement, Rhimes also works with Dove’s Real Beauty campaign and Planned Parenthood.
Head over to ELLE to read an extended excerpt of Rhimes’ speech.
